The other day one of my kids totally lost the plot - out of the blue. We knew they had been going through a rough time, but every time we tried to address the issue, they said they were alright and that we shouldn't bother.
But then suddenly, just before going to bed, an argument developed, that simply spiralled out of control. No amount of understanding or trying to talk over the apparent issue seemed to help and the enforcement of consequences (e. g. being sent to one's room, the removal of privilege's etc.) only seemed to make it worse.
As the name calling and provocations - including door slamming and simply destructive behaviour - increased, and I already started to contemplate an exorcism (note humour), I cried out for wisdom in my heart. Then and there, Father showed me what to do.
You see, as soon as we knew our kids were on the way, we started to pray over them in the womb and asked Father to give us a personal song for each one of them, that would remind them them that they are loved every time they hear it.
So while the ranting continued, I walked over to the bed room, threw my arms around my child and started to sing their song over them. At first they were fighting it like crazy, even trying to push me away, but as soon as I sang the second verse of their song, declaring Father's love over them, I could actually pick them up and carry them over to the sofa in their bedroom.
As I felt Father's love flow through me into them, they started sobbing, telling me of all their struggles and saying, that they they were sorry and didn't mean any of the things they had said, that life was just so damn hard right now, pouring out their heart, as I could feel the love flowing through me, wash away all the anger and pain.
Later on they also talked to their mum and we had a long conversation about what is going on in their lives right now, how hurt they feel and how they could always talk to us about what is going on in their lives, finally falling asleep in peace.
Sitting there in the middle of the night, I could still feel Father's love surging through my heart and body and I knew I had caught a glimpse of something that could never be unseen again. Just then, a still small voice inside me whispered: 'THIS is the judgment of God.'
Needless to say, I was in tears. How often have I treated people according to their behaviour, enforced the consequences that I thought were appropriate (and in some cases we undoubtedly have to remove ourselves from abusive contexts, but this is meant for the protection of everyone involved, not as a punishment), rather then seeing people's heart's, their pain, their brokeness, the heavy yoke they could no loner carry on their own (no matter their own fault in it).
That day I caught a glimpse into Father's heart and how He sees each and every single one of us, as I experienced a love for my child that was greater than even the love their mum and I have for them (and we absolutely adore our kids). That day did not only change my relationship with my kids or my loved one's, it totally changed my view of humanity.
Have I arrived? Absolutely not. But the longer I live, the more I want to dwell in that love, to drink from it, and see myself and everyone with the eyes of the One that loves us beyond comprehension. If I can only experience a little glimpse of this, I will have lived a life worth living.