Okay, here's something I need to share - even if I might be misunderstood. A couple of years ago I faced some surprising health issues, and having always been relatively fit, the doctor's couldn't find out what the issue was.
The only thing that came to me after taking the issue up in prayer, was to radically change my diet and start to establish some healthy boundaries in my life, after years of a pretty fast paced lifestyle of some form of ministry and not really taking care of my body.
Interestingly, when being faced with this issue and the resulting uncertainty, the only things of value that came to my mind, when reflecting back on my life, where things like the walks with my wife and my kids, time spent on the playground etc.
Not one sermon I preached came to mind, no prophecy, no prayer, no ministry trip - nothing that had not added to the relationships in my life mattered anymore. Then I realised how many things I got involved in, where my heart was not really in them, hence there was no real flow of love and life.
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a hypocrite, and I wasn't even chasing around searching for ministry appointments etc. That had been dealt with some years earlier. I just never really got around to creating a shape for life and love to flow, cause I tried to be there for everyone else.
The result was a subtle form of resentment growing in me, for I no longer knew who I was, trying to be everything to everybody all the time and in the process neglecting my primal relationships, as I was trying to hold on to some sense of identity.
Today I am trying to eat a plant based diet, work out a lot more, and feel healthier and stronger then I ever did in my 20s or 30s. I let go of a lot of unhealthy patterns and people I thought were my friends disappeared as a result, making room for relationships that are based on true friendship.
There is still a long way to go, but I learned to be true to my heart, and look at the pain that resulted in my lack of self-compassion. I still enjoy 'ministry' but it is not my identity and I could seriously also live without it.
As a result of my diet change, my health issues disappeared pretty much, including frequent migraines and the allergies I had developed in my childhood. It's not something I ever really publicly talk about, since I hate to make a fuss about eating and we all tend be sensitive when it comes to our food intake.
Despite this reluctancy to talk about it, I can't tell you how many times someone got angry at me when they found out, because they thought I just couldn't appreciate a great steak and was judging them for what they ate.
The truth is, this is my healing story, and I simply did what I knew would help me in that situation. That doesn't mean I condemn those who choose to live differently. We all need to do what works best for us to live fulfilled lives (the reason Jesus came).
Yet all too often, I see people mocking each other's choices, just because we don't understand them, nor have we heard their entire story. We can all be wrong, and it doesn't take a lot of discernment to point out someone else's faults. The question is, can we impart life?
Another result of my lifestyle change was, that I gained a new sense of compassion for animals - no wonder they don't talk to us, the way we often treat them, right? And if one wants to practice raising the dead, animals are a great start (now, there are some stories to tell).
Church history is full with mystics and seers who operated in this realm and most people who do, don't necessarily talk about it in public - which is true for any form of miracle workers (contrary to popular assumptions). For that is not what it is about.
What it is all about is that, according to the Jewish mystic Paul of Tarsus, all creation is waiting for the awakening of Love's children (Romans 8:19), and I know that there are people out there who already start walking in this unveiling, beyond all limitations of belief.
One mostly won't find them on big platforms or on TV, but often hidden away in the secret places of the world - but there is an unveiling, and it has nothing to do with religion's triumphalist notions of power and pressing our opinions unto the world.
So I guess, what I am trying to say, is that Love is the answer, real Love, not just trying to look loving, not just talking about it, but the substance of it. Sadly, our opinions and the hurt's we've experienced in life all too often can hold us back from living in this Love.
But all we've got to do is open out hearts and be ready to let go of what no longer serves the purpose of Love, especially the beliefs that limit God, other's and ourselves - and then, everything can become possible. Well, wouldn't that be something?
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